bare nails on my brown hands. I study them and they look much like my mother’s, they are my greatest inheritance. i have been putting them to good use, creating everything from nothing. I have been working so very hard lately - waking up on time, regardless of how long i sleep. i am devoted to my purpose in a way that i have always longed to be, except, i am now living it. i am midas and medusa alike. i have embraced my own duality, integrated both light and shadow. what lies beyond is the assumption of a great responsibility - to lead by example. i am on the journey i always knew that i was meant to embark on!
i am learning with each step forward that the greater my sacrifice, the greater the power achieved from it. each moment here on, is rich with meaning and there is nothing more to lose, because every misstep is leading to more momentum in the growth that is to arise from it. i am becoming elastic. flexible. fluid. less chaos and more convergence. i am alchemizing in real time, gathering, directing, executing, even to my own surprise. i wake up every day with a whisper, “i can do this,” the day ends, and i did do it. my proof is my own satisfaction with myself. i did it, i did it, and i did it again. i have been hungry for this, for so very long -living up to my full potential every day. i am learning that my potential in itself is expansive. did you think there was a limit to how strong you can be? think again. time is a dimension, and i am learning how to access it abundantly now.
i used to be so afraid of my own power, quake in my own reflection, look away from every mirror. i can now stand to look at my own bare face and smile - every ancestor of mine is present in my face, each line stretching and defining. i am loving every moment of aging. this is what i have longed for! my knowledge is my greatest power! i would lose everything again to get to this divine wisdom that i am achieving steadily each day— i am authoring this life and i finally know how to use the materials that were bestowed upon me.
you stop being a victim when you finally understand that every single moment has a purpose. you have the power to define every moment. there is no rejection where there is learning, no loss where there is growth, no pain where there is power achieved, and no heartbreak when the destination is the self. i have nothing else to compete for, my path forward is crystal clear, to become more myself than i have ever been before. on my dying day, i want to die knowing that i lived as my full self.
